There have been many transformational growths and leaps over the past six years with two healings from Rachelle and the Teacher’s training course. That was an entire week of not only learning how to teach the workshops but also about delving into parts of yourself and some of your pain that you hadn’t looked at yet. Jeremy Donovan, a truly amazing Aboriginal man sharing his knowledge and passion with the world, did an amazing yarn around the fire with us. I learnt that someone had taken my voice, my abuser of course, and it was time I took it back. A truly amazing thing happened after that, I realised I could sing. I actually have a beautiful singing voice that I now use regularly. During that week I also discovered some deep grief from a miscarriage I thought I had dealt with. So, I learnt how to cry, and I mean that waling that tribal women do, that proper open up your heart, let the entire grief envelop you and cry as if you are swallowed up by a black hole. The kind of crying that afterwards you feel an immense lifting of the energy, something shifted after that week and I now pay tribute to my late grandfather who is looking after my son on the other side.
After this beautiful week I was blessed with falling pregnant to my third child, who turned out to be a boy. I never dreamed I would have the privilege of having a boy after my two girls and losing a boy. This of course has taken up most of my life for the last few years as three kids, work, a homeopathy course and a business are quite a lot to manage. The one thing I had realised superficially was that I was giving all of myself to my kids and not allowing any “me” time. If I did have “me” time away, I was either working or studying. This left me exhausted at the end of every day. This way of living was still a strategy of running from my emotional problems and needs, just like in my 20s where I was partying and literally running marathons. So, even though I have done some amazing courses in my 30’s, I was still afraid to go to some deep dark places, we all are.
That all stopped as of November 2014. I was diagnosed with early stage Breast Cancer. That was my wake-up call. I stopped working, I stopped studying, I literally stopped everything and sat still. I went inside myself and asked, how could I create this? How could I be so irresponsible to potentially take my life away from my beautiful children and the work I know I am meant to do here on this planet? I have written journals of emotions, I have talked to many people, and importantly, I have done a crystal healing on myself at least once a week. This has got me into those places, ie the cancer directly to talk to it and hear what it wanted to say, to find out what emotion was buried there and what had festered there to create it. That story I will save for later, but the beautiful thing about cancer is that it makes you realise that life is so precious. All of a sudden your life might be ending and it takes all the unimportant crap away. You sit in the present moment, loving the smile’s on your children’s faces, loving the beautiful breeze and the sunshine or the beautiful cleansing rain. It gave me a new lease on life and brought me back to that place when I was 16, when I had begun reading the Celestine Prophecy and I started to see the beauty in everything around me. I thank my cancer for waking me up, I thank my cancer for stopping me still, I thank my cancer for giving me the opportunity to find out what caused it. I am still, months later, processing this latest journey and in that so many things have become clear for me. I don’t need to do everything at super-fast pace. I don’t have to give 110% to everyone and leave nothing for myself. I need time out, time for myself, to heal and fill my cup so I can be there for others. I now create time for myself to rest, revive and heal with my crystals.
The crystals have been there supporting me through this cancer journey. Every time I felt sad and emotional I would lie down on my massage table with my crystals and release the emotion easily. The crystals would just allow it to flow out, cleanse it away and fill my body with pure love. You step away feeling revived and full of energy and know exactly who you are and what you want. I have realised that we need to lie with the crystals at least once a week to keep our energy at that high vibrational state. This is why I teach people how to do it for themselves, so you can make it a habit for yourself just as I have for myself. All disturbances, whether they be emotional or physical are there to teach you something. They are there to show you what is buried and suppressed and what needs dealing with and I feel crystals are a beautiful tool, which help us do exactly that. I hope my journey has resonated for you. My journey to this point has been about self-discovery, self-healing and self-development.